On the brink of insanity,
Is this really my reality?
This couldn’t have happened to me!
How did I let this happen to me?
How could I have been so weak?
How could I let him do this to me?
Why didn’t I leave sooner?
What is my mom going to think?
What will my family think?
Will they still love me?
Will anyone love me?
Will I ever love again?
Now what do I do?
I have nothing!
I am nothing!
I’m worthless!
I’m useless!
How could anyone love someone like me?
I’m damaged goods!
I’m crazy!
I’m a failure!
I’m ugly!
He was right…
Why did I leave him?
I was better off just staying there!
Maybe I should just go back!
Maybe things will be better this time!
Why am I here?
Why did I come back?
God, I am so stupid!
I can’t believe I fell for this shit again!
I can’t believe I fell for his lies.
But I love him.
He must love me.
He says he loves me.
So he must right?
Things will get better.
Why do I always believe him?
I should have never come back.
I should have never answered the phone.
I should have blocked his number.
I should have changed my number.
I’m back in the same place.
I’m back in this hell.
It is all my fault.
He’ll never change.
He won’t ever change!
But I’m stuck here..
I’m stuck here!
Everyone said they would never help me again if I came back.
So I’m stuck here.
I’m probably going to die here.
I’m stuck here.
There is no escape.
There is no help.
He’ll never stop.
He’ll never let me leave..
.. not without putting up a fight.
I have to fight!
I have to leave!
There has got to be a way out.
He is bound to kill me!
If he can choke me until I pass out and laugh about it!
He most certainly will be able to kill me without a thought!
It will happen!
He will kill me if I do not get out of here!
Do not sleep!
Think!
How can I get out of here!
The sun is starting to rise.
Grab phone and go to the bathroom.
Call sister.
(But what if she says no)
She is always there no matter what.
(But what if she says no?)
CALL HER!
Tell her!
She said she’s coming now!
Now what?
How do I get my stuff without waking him?
What if she doesn’t get here on time?
What if it is too late?
Grab trash bags and start throwing stuff in them.
Sister is on her way.
She won’t let anything happen to me.
She has always been there to protect me.
Check phone.
Sister is around the corner.
Oh my God he is awake!
What is he going to do?
What is going to happen next?
My sister is just around the corner!
Tell him!
(My sister is just around the corner, I’m leaving)
He’s getting up, what is he going to do?
Where is he going?
He’s getting in the shower?
More trash bags, keep packing!
He’s coming back to the room!
Keep strong!
Keep packing!
He’s grabbing his keys, what is he doing?
He’s leaving?
He’s leaving?
Where is he going?
Check phone.
(“I’m downstairs”)
She’s here!
She really came for me!
Get all my bags and get out of here!
What if he’s outside?
Get in the car.
I’m safe.
Where I am going he cannot find me.
He cannot hurt me anymore.
I’m safe.
Breathe.
Photo Credit: http://www.voella.com/2015/05/inside-the-mind-of-a-domestic-violence-victim/