Just a typical Saturday morning. So I thought. It was sunny outside, blistering cold I’m sure, but it was nice to have the sun shine through my bedroom window. Yet, I just didn’t feel right. Something was off. I didn’t feel like myself at all. My forecast for the day, partly sunny with a patch of fog. That’s the life of someone who has PTSD. sometimes we have days where we just feel out of it. Sometimes we know the triggers, other days we can’t seem to grasp what caused us to

It’s a rough road. For those who are going through or have gone through any form of abuse. The task of surviving day to day. As the one enduring the abuse. The unknown of whether or not we will make it out alive. The unknown if we can ever escape. The unknown of what will happen to us if and when we do escape. What will he or she do if they find out? What will happen to me? For those who have children; it ups the ante 100 folds. Why don’t people leave right away? It’s easier

When your biological father doesn’t love you, it cuts you deep. It leaves you vulnerable and weak. Leaving you open to predators Who seek to do nothing but devour you. When your father doesn’t love you It leaves you searching for it in the wrong places. It leaves you craving it. No matter how it is that you taste it. Love is all that you want. Love is all that you long for. To be loved. It is all you dream about. You fall for all the lies. No matter how big or small. You will

I am a survivor. I come with a lot of baggage, I will be first to admit that. Things that don’t bother or set you off, can send me into a whirlwind of emotions for days. PTSD. One of those things I had to learn to live and deal with. It is a part of me. It is not something that just goes away. My past has made me very alert to a lot of things. It is a good thing but also a bad thing. Sometimes I tend to get defensive when there is no need for it. It is as if at times I feel l

A few minutes later she was finally gone. Out of hell she escaped. Without nothing, not even a scrape. The butterfly had found an opening in the window. And started to fly towards a better tomorrow….. On to brighter days she thought to herself, Not knowing that there would be new obstacles. These obstacles would be different though. The obstacles of the mind. She wanted all memories erased. Unfortunately she realized this would not be the case. It took a long time for her to

I’ve always been drawn to water. I love the oceans, lakes, and ponds. It is as if it is my own little piece of heaven. The place where I can let all my thoughts run wild and yet at the same time I can still feel at peace. I can scream out all my pains without fear. I can cry my deepest cry without judgment. Then, as soon as I have pulled myself together I am literally face to face with myself. Looking at my reflection on the water. Sometimes the body of water may be peaceful,

She was lost in her own hell. Barely holding on. She thought she knew better than to sleep with the devil. His lies kissed her lips and she was gone. His masked disguise left her blind. Her strength and courage was sucked right out of her. She was a dead woman walking. Scared to cry out for help. Scared to run away. She held back her tears and carried on each day. Not knowing how much more she could take. Not knowing if tomorrow she would awake. Walking on eggshells. Plotting

Have you ever wondered why? Why he or she covers up the lies? Why he or she doesn’t just leave? Why he or she cannot see what you see? Have you ever tried to understand? Walk in his or her shoes if you can? Ever think of the dangers that are at hand? Do you realize the mental control that is in place? Do you know the things that he or she must face? Do you know what is possibly at stake? How much careful planning it all takes? Before judging and assuming, before victim bashin

One morning she woke up different. Done with trying to figure out who was with her, against her or walking down the middle because they didn’t have the guts to pick a side. She was done with anything that didn’t bring her peace. She realized that opinions were a dime a dozen. Validation was for parking. Loyalty wasn’t a word but a lifestyle. It was this day that her life had changed. Not because of a man. Or a job. But because, she had finally realized that life is way too sh

So as you all know I started writing my book about my experience with domestic violence, the chapter I am currently working on so far is one of the most difficult chapters. It has taken me a long time to write what I have written so far. It has opened up a wound I thought was healed. I have realized that there has not really been full closure on this aspect of my life. Many tears have been shed while writing previous chapters, so many unanswered questions. So many “Why’s?” an

I was looking for a video to post while I finish writing a blog I am working on and came upon these videos. The domestic Violence Summit 2014 hosted on the Dr. Phil Show. It is a seven-part series and I just had to share them with you. Let’s raise awareness. Let’s connect. Let’s Inspire and Let’s Come Together! #domesticviolenceawareness #abuse #Teens #knowledgeispower #inspire #Informative #strength #DomesticViolenceAwarenessMonth #encourage #awareness #Discussion #TeenDatin

As you all know from my previous blog, I have started writing my book. It’s really hard, remembering details from my childhood as well as details from my relationship. I must admit I’ve already shed some tears and this is just the beginning of the book. Remembering things I worked so hard to erase or cover up. To bring them back to the forefront has been difficult at times. Some things I actually did completely block out of my mind and couldn’t really write in complete detail

Hey everyone, first let me just apologize for being absent as far as blogging, I know I have some very supportive readers and followers who look forward to my blogs. After reading this particular post I believe it is safe to say that you will all understand why I have been absent. It was difficult for me to start writing this, and took me a couple weeks to even begin writing gain. Triggers and flashbacks. I hate them. I mean i really HATE them!I had a trigger on Sunday June 2

Happy Mother’s Day to this beautiful woman my Momma, my super-woman, my Queen!! Without her, I don’t even know where I would be! Thank you for your love, your support, your strength. Thank you for your encouraging words and kicks to my behind when needed. Thank you for always being supportive of all my decisions no matter how hard it may have been for you. Because of you I am the woman I am today, and because of you, I know I will become that much better. There will never be

Love, a word that I always say is an action word. Not just a word that is said, but a word that is shown, love is something that you do. By definition, love is an intense feeling of affection. I often find other survivors asking “How will I ever love again?” To be honest, you will never be able to truly love another person until you first love yourself. When you were in an abusive relationship you were not loved or cared for properly which may have led to you feeling like you

Spread your wings. Sail along the gentle breeze. Gaze upon the horizon, Look down upon the trees. Take in the beauty Of a new beginning. Spread your wings. Fly to newer heights. Escape to a better place. Feel the wind beneath your wings. Breathe in the fresh air of freedom. Spread your wings. Soar like an eagle. Take on a new journey. Gracefully floating, To your new destination. Spread your wings. Glide into paradise. For now, it is time to fly. Fly to your safe place. Sprea

Thank you joicelizsabeth (my soul-sister); for nominating me for the Sisterhood of the World blogger award. To say I am honored is an understatement! I thank you so much, and truly appreciate you J! It looks like all I have to do is answer 10 questions, and nominate other women who are more than worthy of a nomination.  So here are the questions posed to me. Why do you blog? – At first, I wrote a blog to share my experience of domestic violence. In all honesty, I thought that

#domesticviolenceawareness #abuse #inspire #hope #domesticviolence

Follow my blog with Bloglovin There is a moment that comes for a victim when they just know. They know that it is now or never. They know that this is more than likely the only opportunity they may ever have to escape. There is no time limit. The number of years it took for the victim to leave does not compare to the fact that he or she survived! Because, as a survivor I can tell you, all you want is for the person you originally met to return. You didn’t fall in love with th

Follow my blog with Bloglovin It is AMAZING what we as writers/bloggers can take from a picture. For instance, this one here, with a tiger cub and a butterfly. “Strength of a Tiger, Spirit of a Butterfly.” When I think about strength I usually think of inner strength. I know I talk about it a lot, but as a survivor, it is something I had to remind myself of very often. Even today, with different life situations. Physical strength can only get you but so far. But inner strengt